localmusiclvr05

It's a little bit silly, but I kind of feel proud of my friends.  I mean, these people are going on tours, having people spend money just to see their faces.......it's amazing.  Some of these people I've known since they were in their slightly-chubby, awkward phase, and now they're off, conquering the better part of the United States.  And, thanks to the internet, some of their fans are even abroad.

Man, these kids have balls.  Here I am, aspiring to be someone in just the background, and there they are, putting their heart and soul out there through a microphone in front of full audiences.  It's crazy.

Sometimes I try to imagine myself in their place, being on a stage, doing god knows what.  It just doesn't fit for me.  I get too scared.  I won't even sing full out in the shower.  lol.  Maybe that's why I want to be a journalist so badly?  To be around the excitement but not caught up in it?  Maybe.

I like people not knowing my name or where I'm from.  I like keeping my livejournal private because some things just don't need to be shared with the world.  Besides, how do I explain to my mom that most of my friends are on the internet?  Weird.  I like to have flesh-and-blood people around me instead of just pictures in shitty lighting.  I like people wondering who I am when I talk to these certain people, or even better, not even having me on their radar.  It's just too much.  I couldn't handle it if I had 'fans' or 'haters'.  I mean, I probably do, but at least I'm not aware of it.  No, I'm not saying that I'm popular or whatever.  I wouldn't ever call myself one of 'those' people.  I don't want to be known for having famous friends.  That's just.....lame.  My friends know who they are, and that's good enough for me, even if I don't really get to see them that much anymore.

And now we come to define the word "Friendship".  See, a friend to me is someone who I can talk to outside of the everyday whatever.  People  I can trust and have fun with.  People who are honest with me, even if it hurts my feelings.  Someone who knows when I need my space and when to invade my space.  So, these friends I'm talking about?  They're not just people I see when I go to shows.  They are people I go to for advice, and let them know that they can come to me, too.  They are people that I care about outside of the music they play or the stories they come up with.  I love them for who they are when they are not surrounded by the image.

I'm not trying to be one of those people.  You know, like those kids who are all "I knew who Fall Out Boy was before they made it big, so therefore, I'm cool and you're shit."  Fuck that noise.  No way.  That's not what this is about.  This is just a chick from the 'burbs who is appreciative and proud of the people she knows.  I'm not saying I'm better than anyone.  As a matter of fact, most of you are probably better than me, because you get to see them more than I do. 

So, who the hell do I think I am?  I'm this chick from the 'burbs of Chicago.  I love music and writing.  I love my friends.  I believe that people should do things not because they want to, but because they don't know any other way.  I'm really just this hybrid prep/punk who works at a preppy clothing store and listens to The Misfits on my way to work.  I'm all over the place, but I'm nothing special.  So, don't focus on me.  Instead, focus on the message, and the message is that my friends, these people I care about, are doing something that most of us are too afraid to even think about doing.


Wow, that came out way sentimental and shit.